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Stats reveal more heterosexual couples are experimenting with the move.


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Opinions Aysha White — Published March 5, These also reveal that more men than women are attracted to the idea of having someone be sexually submissive to them. What is lacking about the mainstream depictions of BDSM is variety.

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A lot of cultural dialogue around the subject, including mainstream media sources, have imposed a heterosexual idea that reinforces existing gender binaries, where the man is the dominant partner and the woman the submissive. It ignores the experiences of sexually submissive men and dominant women, arguably because they flout social customs.

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We live in a sexist patriarchal culture that promotes and profits off the physical and emotional submission of women. Pseudonyms have been used for the people interviewed, to protect their privacy, as well as their current and future employment opportunities.

Hobbes is a submissive latex-loving man,] who loves to serve his Mistress.

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He views his sexuality as kinky or submissive, though he can often enjoy vanilla sex. Hobbes described himself as essentially straight, but does experience occasional attraction towards other men.

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Hobbes began to realize he was interested in being dominated by a woman around the age of 16 or As a teenager, he felt confused about all of the new things he was feeling, and by the conflicting societal messages he received about how to behave.

Catiya Kass, his Mistress, described being a female dominant as an empowering kinda of experience.

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She said the intimacy it created between her and Hobbes led her to fall in love with him quicker. Believing in destiny is a personal choice, but if you do believe in it, you might see these two as an example.

Learn about the complex and varied experiences of sexually submissive men

Kass reached out to two online profiles in one week, one kinky and one vanilla. Long story short, they both belonged to Hobbes, which he subsequently revealed to her. The two have built a successful sexual and romantic relationship, built on open communication about their interests, needs, wants, and boundaries.

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The full-time domination that they engage in together has been a new experience for both of them. Hobbes likes employing latex in his sexual practices, describing it as the most sensual material he knows. Hobbes pointed out that while for women being objectified is a form of misogyny, for men, not used to being seen for their appearance, the experience can create the opposite feeling.

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Flogging means being whipped. Pegging is a gender flipping sexual act, of a woman penetrating a man anally, usually with a strap-on. Afterwards, he explained that the dominant will release the submissive, a practice known as aftercare.

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He pointed out that many people who are not a part of kinky society may not understand the amount of time, effort, and negotiation of boundaries that gets put into establishing a healthy kinky relationship. He said that having an open-minded yet rational attitude has made him more open to alternative life choices, like BDSM and polyamory.

Roland describes himself as a straight man. He likes using toys such as butt plugs to give him that feeling and likes to leave them inside his rectum, experimenting with different lengths of time, or vibration. He also really loves being restrained.

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He began understanding how he was aroused by BDSM practices. He enjoyed seeing girls tied up in cartoons and movies. He began to understand more about BDSM and the way his own sexuality fit into that by watching related porn on the internet.

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Roland is a practitioner of self- BDSMmeaning he experiments with putting himself in bondage positions. He describes the feeling of being tied up as being very comfortable and natural for him, even relaxing enough to fall asleep in.

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So far, actually having a Mistress and being her slave remains a fantasy to Roland, but one he is eager to make a reality. He recently tried shaving his legs, which was a positive experience as he continues to experiment with his sexuality in relation to cross-dressing. No one in his family, apart from a cousin and his brother, know about his feminine side. Current Issue The Resistance Issue.